Bandits Long Time Number 1 Goalie to Return

"Colostomy" Johnny Locicero has just announced through his agent that he is attempting a comeback as early as next Tuesday when the Bandits take on Mojo Mardi at 6:30 at the MasterCard Centre Rink 3.

Big Time Shutout just in time for the return of the Bandits' Number 1 Goalie

Bandits win 6-5 in come from behind victory

Bandits lose 3-2

Bandits lose 1-0

Bandits win 3-1

True North Waiver

Bandits take second game in a row

Bandits Register First Win Against Hot Huskies Goalies

Despite a tremendous goaltending performance by Huskies defencemen, the mighty Toronto Bandits managed their first win in convincing fashion by a score of 6-1.

Bandits Score in Dying Moments to Tie B & W

Bandits Tie 3-3 in Big Game Against the 50's

Bandits lose big time in season opener

click on image to see score sheet.

Bandits 2009/2010 Schedule (partial)

Bandits win 4-3

Bandits lose 4-2

Bandit payment - 2009/2010 season

Pay now for the upcoming season. There is handling fee from Pay Pal involved

July 14 Results - Bandits lose 9 - 2

Bandits Summer Results

Date	Time	Rink	Home	Score	Away	Score
May 5	9:00	Rinx 3	Bone's Brigade	1	Bandits	5
May 12	7:00	Rinx 3	Bandits	3	Wolverines	3
May 19	10:00	Rinx 3	Bandits	1	Ice Cats	3
May 26	8:10	Rinx 2	Peter Northstars	1	Bandits	3
Jun 2	11:10	Rinx 2	Dragons	3	Bandits	5
Jun 9	9:10	Rinx 2	Bandits	2	Bone's Brigade	5
Jun 16	6:00	Rinx 3	Wolverines	5	Bandits	2
Jun 23	10:10	Rinx 2	Ice Cats	6	Bandits	0
Jun 30	8:20	Rinx 1	Bandits	1	Peter Northstars	9
Jul 7	11:15	Rinx 1	Bandits	5	Dragons	2
Jul 14	9:20	Rinx 1	Bone's Brigade	9	Bandits	2
Jul 21	6:10	Rinx 2	Bandits		Wolverines
Jul 28	10:20	Rinx 1	Bandits		Ice Cats

July 7, 2009 Results : Dragons 5 - Bandits 2

June 30, 2009 Results : BNW 9 - Bandits 1 OUCH!

June 23 Results : Ice Cats 6 - Bandits 0

June 16, 2009 Results : Wolverines 2 - Bandits 0

June 9, 2009 Results : Bones Brigade 5 - Bandits 2

Barlow NSF yet again!

Richard,
I thought you might like to know that your cheque has bounced again.
Let's see, that's three bounced cheques and two more that have been sent to the wrong address in less than a year. Since you don't understand how a cheque or the mail work, I thought I'd send this to the entire Bandits lists so that maybe someone else could try and teach you how payment and mail delivery work.

Secondly, I thought perhaps public humiliation might help in getting the matter cleared (one can't help but to be reminded of the Jerry Seinfeld Little Jerry episode about Marcellino's Bodega and Jerry's clown cheque).

Please provide for me before next week either a certified cheque or bring cash to my office.

My address is...are you getting the full message here...make sure that you are:

Marcel Fortin
XXX YYYYYY Avenue
Toronto, Ontario MXY 4X9

If you want to bring me cash because you feel so bad about the situation
that you want to make amends, my address at work is

Room TTTTT HHHHHH Library
RRRRRR St. GGGGGGG Street
Toronto, Ontario MXX YY5
Here's a map:
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=130+St+George+St,+Toronto,+ON,+Canada&sll=43.665745,-79.455829&sspn=0.012914,0.015922&ie=UTF8&ll=43.664744,-79.398719&spn=0.006457,0.007961&z=17&iwloc=A

Your Creditor

NSF Barlow 5 - Dragons 3

TORONTO (BANDIT PRESS)

Despite a very short bench (two subs), the Bandits won handily last night against the Dragons in a 5 - 3 contest at Rinx 2. Richie Barlow, only outdone by the handy work of birthday boy Horvath in nets, was the best Bandit on the ice and had a productive night scoring all five goals for the Bandits. "We were firing on all cylinders as a team tonight" a modest Barlow told this reporter. Ever the humble soul, Barlow made it clear during the press conference following the game that his teammates and bounces that went his way were the reason for such a productive night on his part. Following the game, it was learned that Barlow's latest payment to the team was again returned for NSF.

Bandits win 3 - 1 against the petering Peter Northstars

Bandits lose a close one to the Ice Cats - Meow

Bandits tie 3-3 against the Wolverines - Ahooooo!

Bandits Win First Game of the Summer Season

TORONTO - (BANDIT PRESS)

The Toronto Bandits posted their first win of the season in a raucous affair that saw the Bandits in early penalty trouble. Despite a two man advantage in the first period, the brilliant Bandit defense and stellar goaltending staved off the Brigade onslaught to keep the score at 0-0 going into the second period. Richie "not so Rich", notched his first goal of the season off a brilliant pass from the slot from Alex "the Great". R. Lambert then scored a beautiful goal on the backhand from passes by Posluns and Santana Santelli. The Bandits then took a solid three goal advantage into the third period when Bandits rookie "portable locker room" O'Donoghue scored his first ever goal in the TNHL. The Brigade quickly got one back in the third to make it close until the Bandits scored twice more to close out the event with a 5-1 win. Other goals by the Bandits included tallies by Tatoo Tony and an unknown scorer. The game ended early when the f-ups at True North could no longer work the clock and the officials, as a result, decided to scrap the game with about two minutes left on the clock.

The Bandits took the win in stride and vowed to get even better. Coach Jimmy the Greek pointed the finger at a few of his players for sub-performances. Jimmy has vowed to be more vocal this year, and promised that no one was immune from his wrath and that the Country Club atmosphere in the clubhouse would end this year. Jimmy was especially displeased with defenseman Fortin for not shooting the puck enough. As a result of the stricter coaching style this year, the clubhouse wil be devoid of any massages, other than the ones Graudins hands out in to anyone scoring a point. Coach Jimmy has promised to keep the beer flowing though as his little foot cooler was seen in the dressing room cooling a few Belgian brews before the game.

Click on the image above to see a larger image of the official TNHL scoresheet

Bandits Playoff Run Ends

Toronto - (Bandit Press)

The Toronto Bandit Hockey Club ended its playoff run last night with a 6-2 loss to the Roadrunners. A brilliant effort on the part of the undermanned Bandits was not enough to secure another round of playoff action. The contest was a closer game than the score would indicate as the Bandits forward line (singular) and 3 D moved the puck well and managed their strength and stamina well throughout.

Comforted by beer and wings courtesy of Tony M following the game, the Bandits vowed a winning season for the summer. Bandits fans will remember the 2008-09 season as the season of could have and should have hockey. The Bandits played some good hockey but still ended up on the losing end of a number of games they should have and could have won.

Summer Bandit season will start in a short time. Tickets go on sale today.

Bandits Playoff Results

Toronto - (Bandit Press)

Toronto Bandits lost their first game of the playoffs 8-3 to the Green Lanterns. The Bandits play the Roadrunners on Rinx 2 and 6:10 next week. It's do or die for the Bandits.

Bandits Brass Scout New Talent in Brampton

Toronto - (Bandit Press) Toronto Bandits brass began scouting Major Junior players last week. Three Bandit officials were spotted at the Powerade Centre in Brampton last Thursday drinking beer, eating chicken hot dogs, some packed sandwiches, and they were occasionaly even seen paying attention to the play. It is anticipated the Bandits, having finished in last place this season, are trying to decide either to pick Brampton Battalion star Cody Hodgson or newly acquired London Knights Center John Tavares as the overall #1 pick in the upcoming TNHL spring draft. Both players were in action last thursday when the trio of Bandits officials attended the drubbing of the Knights at the hands of the Battalion by a score of 5 to 1. Here are four photos of the evening by photog extraordinaire Peeper Posluns. Click on the image for a larger view.

Cody Hodgson of the Brampton Battalion











John Tavares, London Knights.


Tavares and Hodgson exchanging notes on the nutritional and delictability quotient of the Powerade Chicken Dogs.

Bandits Next game

Bandits take on Bone's Brigade next Tuesday Feb. 24 9:20 on Rinx 1. To be eligible for playoff action, players must have participated in at least seven games.
For the playoff schedule web page, see: http://www.truenorthhockey.com/2008-09/toronto/playoff1594.html
For further playoff information and rules, visit: http://www.truenorthhockey.com/Promotions/PlayoffEligibility/PlayoffMemo09w.pdf

Bandits Lose Despite Absence of Prata

Toronto - (Bandit Press)
Always imaginative and creative, the Bandits managed to lose in a big way again last night 6-0 despite the absence of G. Prata and the presence of "One-Skate" Jake Locicero.

Heading into the playoffs, the Bandits had shown promise in the last two games winning one and tying another against the first place team. Despite the apparent disadvantage going into the playoffs, the Bandits are still confident they can take it all and carry home brand-spanking new 50% polyester 50% Cotton Championship T-shirts once again this year. Asked about their chances, D. Papadatos was adamant that the Bandits were a team "Built for the Playoffs". A phrase that was used to describe the Bandits time and again when they were winning back to back to back championships in the Greater Toronto Women's Hockey League in the early 1990's.

It's time to let those beards grow and to shave your legs as the first round of the playoffs start next week. Bandits take on Bone's Brigade next Tuesday Feb. 24 9:20 on Rinx 1. To be eligible for playoff action, players must have participated in at least seven games.
For the playoff schedule web page, see: http://www.truenorthhockey.com/2008-09/toronto/playoff1594.html
For further playoff information and rules, visit: http://www.truenorthhockey.com/Promotions/PlayoffEligibility/PlayoffMemo09w.pdf

Bandits Tie First Place Roadrunners

Bandits First Win of 2009

Summer Hockey - you in or not?

It's that time of year of again Bandits. Click on participate to let me know if you are playing or not this summer.

Bandits Take Higher Road Despite Another Loss

Toronto (BANDIT PRESS)

The Bandits lost another game last night to the Bone's Brigade. Having intercepted communication between the Bandits concerning his subject, Todd W. aka 00 changed his number to 15 for the match to deflect attention from himself.

His usual abrasive self, 15(00) scored two points against the Bandits. Not to be outdone, number 15 for the Bandits D. Papadatos also scored 2 points. E. Horvath started his second game in a row in place of J Locicero. A poorly officiated game, only 4 minor penalties were called 3 for the Bones and 1 for the Bandits, despite the usual stick work and general nastiness of the Brigade.

As the old Bandit saying goes, aptly repeated by G. Prata after the game "We could beat these guys if we decided to bend down a bit". Not sure what it means, but it is surely inspirational to the squad in their next game on February 3rd at 9 PM on Rinx 3 against Mojo Mardi.

Bandits Upbeat Following Tough Loss to the Pumpkins

TORONTO (Bandit Press)
Despite the excitement of Obamania on Tuesday, the Bandits lost a tough game to the mighty Smashing Pumpkins. A cleanly fought tilt between the bottom dwelling Bandits and the first place Pumpkin eaters, not one penalty was assessed during the entire game. Of course Richard B. only played the last two frames of the game, which certainly partially explains the anomaly. Barlow, whose examplary mellowness was infectious on his teammates, scored the lone two goals for the Bandits to the S.P.s six. Barlow could have easily made it a hat trick but the move failed him on a breakaway. Dennis Papadatos assisted on both goals to continue to pad his scoring lead on the Bandits roster. He currently sits in fifth place in league in scoring behind Smashing Pumpkins D. Jones (49) who leads all scorers with 27 points to Papadatos' 19 following last night's game.

Next game is a late one as the Bandits take on the nasty lads from Bone's Brigade on Jan. 27th at 11:10 on Rinx 2.

Goalie Pardoned

WASHINGTON - (BANDIT PRESS)

In a surprising event today in the United States capital, outgoing
president George Bush pardoned Toronto Bandits Goaltender/Net Crasher
Eugene Horvath. Horvath was immediately released from prison this
afternoon. The event was eclipsed by the fanfare of the Obama
inauguration party and the release was covered in the media exclusively
by Bandit Press.

Horvath will celebrate his release by playing in nets for the struggling
Bandits tonight at the Rinx as they take on the pugilistic and
league-leading Smashing Pumpkins.

It was reported earlier this week that Horvath was being held in
captivity by H. Construction boss G Prata, but Horvath was actually
being held in the United States penal system for smuggling Goalie
equipment across the border to Mexico.

ICE NOTES: Regular Bandit Goalie John Locicero played a large role in
securing the Horvath pardon. In his usual humble fashion, Locicero is
not attending the welcome back ceremonies at the Rinx tonight.

MF for Bandit Press

Bandit Press Reporter Released from Captivitiy

Toronto (Bandit Press) - Bandit Press reporter Marcel Fortin was released to the OPP by his kidnappers this weekend following a lengthy stay in captivity. Fortin, better known for his work as a correspondent to the Toronto Bandits Hockey Club, and less known for his hockey skills as Bandit defenceman/forward, has been without a voice since his last post in this newspaper on December 3rd, 2008. It is believed that Fortin, and another member of the Bandits who is still being held captive, goalie/forward/screen Eugene Horvath, were probably forced to work on a gang that was building a cottage near Campbellford. It is suspected that H. C. boss G. Prata may be responsible for the kidnapping. Prata, not happy with the current state of the Bandits record in the standings and criticism he has received in Fortin's work as a writer, may be strong arming people to build cottages in the Kawartha area. Fortin was probably released because of his lack of skills in the building trades. Horvath, on the other hand, an accomplished carpenter, is probably still being held to continue working on construction.

Asked about the identity of his captures, Fortin explained that all would be revealed in his tell-all book set to be completed some time this year or next. "My pen will not be silenced" Fortin explained at a news conference in Toronto's west end. "Prata cannot stop me from expressing my thoughts. He has been afraid of my work in the past, he better be prepared for what is about to come" Fortin continued. As for the whereabouts of Horvath, Fortin said he had not heard anything from him during his time in captivity and that he could neither confirm or deny that Horvath was still alive.

Next Bandits game, is against the league leading Smashing Pumpkins on rinx 2, at 8:10 on Tuesday January 20th.

Look for an update on this game, right here at http://tobandits.blogspot.com

Bandits lose to Green Lanterns 8-1