Thursday, October 29, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Bandits Register First Win Against Hot Huskies Goalies
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Bandits Summer Results
| Date | Time | Rink | Home | Score | Away | Score |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| May 5 | 9:00 | Rinx 3 | Bone's Brigade | 1 | Bandits | 5 |
| May 12 | 7:00 | Rinx 3 | Bandits | 3 | Wolverines | 3 |
| May 19 | 10:00 | Rinx 3 | Bandits | 1 | Ice Cats | 3 |
| May 26 | 8:10 | Rinx 2 | Peter Northstars | 1 | Bandits | 3 |
| Jun 2 | 11:10 | Rinx 2 | Dragons | 3 | Bandits | 5 |
| Jun 9 | 9:10 | Rinx 2 | Bandits | 2 | Bone's Brigade | 5 |
| Jun 16 | 6:00 | Rinx 3 | Wolverines | 5 | Bandits | 2 |
| Jun 23 | 10:10 | Rinx 2 | Ice Cats | 6 | Bandits | 0 |
| Jun 30 | 8:20 | Rinx 1 | Bandits | 1 | Peter Northstars | 9 |
| Jul 7 | 11:15 | Rinx 1 | Bandits | 5 | Dragons | 2 |
| Jul 14 | 9:20 | Rinx 1 | Bone's Brigade | 9 | Bandits | 2 |
| Jul 21 | 6:10 | Rinx 2 | Bandits | Wolverines | ||
| Jul 28 | 10:20 | Rinx 1 | Bandits | Ice Cats |
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Barlow NSF yet again!
I thought you might like to know that your cheque has bounced again.
Let's see, that's three bounced cheques and two more that have been sent to the wrong address in less than a year. Since you don't understand how a cheque or the mail work, I thought I'd send this to the entire Bandits lists so that maybe someone else could try and teach you how payment and mail delivery work.
Secondly, I thought perhaps public humiliation might help in getting the matter cleared (one can't help but to be reminded of the Jerry Seinfeld Little Jerry episode about Marcellino's Bodega and Jerry's clown cheque).
Please provide for me before next week either a certified cheque or bring cash to my office.
My address is...are you getting the full message here...make sure that you are:
Marcel Fortin
XXX YYYYYY Avenue
Toronto, Ontario MXY 4X9
If you want to bring me cash because you feel so bad about the situation
that you want to make amends, my address at work is
Room TTTTT HHHHHH Library
RRRRRR St. GGGGGGG Street
Toronto, Ontario MXX YY5
Here's a map:
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=130+St+George+St,+Toronto,+ON,+Canada&sll=43.665745,-79.455829&sspn=0.012914,0.015922&ie=UTF8&ll=43.664744,-79.398719&spn=0.006457,0.007961&z=17&iwloc=A
Your Creditor
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
NSF Barlow 5 - Dragons 3
Despite a very short bench (two subs), the Bandits won handily last night against the Dragons in a 5 - 3 contest at Rinx 2. Richie Barlow, only outdone by the handy work of birthday boy Horvath in nets, was the best Bandit on the ice and had a productive night scoring all five goals for the Bandits. "We were firing on all cylinders as a team tonight" a modest Barlow told this reporter. Ever the humble soul, Barlow made it clear during the press conference following the game that his teammates and bounces that went his way were the reason for such a productive night on his part. Following the game, it was learned that Barlow's latest payment to the team was again returned for NSF.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Bandits Win First Game of the Summer Season
The Toronto Bandits posted their first win of the season in a raucous affair that saw the Bandits in early penalty trouble. Despite a two man advantage in the first period, the brilliant Bandit defense and stellar goaltending staved off the Brigade onslaught to keep the score at 0-0 going into the second period. Richie "not so Rich", notched his first goal of the season off a brilliant pass from the slot from Alex "the Great". R. Lambert then scored a beautiful goal on the backhand from passes by Posluns and Santana Santelli. The Bandits then took a solid three goal advantage into the third period when Bandits rookie "portable locker room" O'Donoghue scored his first ever goal in the TNHL. The Brigade quickly got one back in the third to make it close until the Bandits scored twice more to close out the event with a 5-1 win. Other goals by the Bandits included tallies by Tatoo Tony and an unknown scorer. The game ended early when the f-ups at True North could no longer work the clock and the officials, as a result, decided to scrap the game with about two minutes left on the clock.
The Bandits took the win in stride and vowed to get even better. Coach Jimmy the Greek pointed the finger at a few of his players for sub-performances. Jimmy has vowed to be more vocal this year, and promised that no one was immune from his wrath and that the Country Club atmosphere in the clubhouse would end this year. Jimmy was especially displeased with defenseman Fortin for not shooting the puck enough. As a result of the stricter coaching style this year, the clubhouse wil be devoid of any massages, other than the ones Graudins hands out in to anyone scoring a point. Coach Jimmy has promised to keep the beer flowing though as his little foot cooler was seen in the dressing room cooling a few Belgian brews before the game.
Click on the image above to see a larger image of the official TNHL scoresheet
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Bandits Playoff Run Ends
The Toronto Bandit Hockey Club ended its playoff run last night with a 6-2 loss to the Roadrunners. A brilliant effort on the part of the undermanned Bandits was not enough to secure another round of playoff action. The contest was a closer game than the score would indicate as the Bandits forward line (singular) and 3 D moved the puck well and managed their strength and stamina well throughout.
Comforted by beer and wings courtesy of Tony M following the game, the Bandits vowed a winning season for the summer. Bandits fans will remember the 2008-09 season as the season of could have and should have hockey. The Bandits played some good hockey but still ended up on the losing end of a number of games they should have and could have won.
Summer Bandit season will start in a short time. Tickets go on sale today.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Bandits Playoff Results
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Bandits Brass Scout New Talent in Brampton
Toronto - (Bandit Press) Toronto Bandits brass began scouting Major Junior players last week. Three Bandit officials were spotted at the Powerade Centre in Brampton last Thursday drinking beer, eating chicken hot dogs, some packed sandwiches, and they were occasionaly even seen paying attention to the play. It is anticipated the Bandits, having finished in last place this season, are trying to decide either to pick Brampton Battalion star Cody Hodgson or newly acquired London Knights Center John Tavares as the overall #1 pick in the upcoming TNHL spring draft. Both players were in action last thursday when the trio of Bandits officials attended the drubbing of the Knights at the hands of the Battalion by a score of 5 to 1. Here are four photos of the evening by photog extraordinaire Peeper Posluns. Click on the image for a larger view.
Cody Hodgson of the Brampton Battalion

John Tavares, London Knights.

Tavares and Hodgson exchanging notes on the nutritional and delictability quotient of the Powerade Chicken Dogs.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Bandits Next game
For the playoff schedule web page, see: http://www.truenorthhockey.com/2008-09/toronto/playoff1594.html
For further playoff information and rules, visit: http://www.truenorthhockey.com/Promotions/PlayoffEligibility/PlayoffMemo09w.pdf
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Bandits Lose Despite Absence of Prata
Always imaginative and creative, the Bandits managed to lose in a big way again last night 6-0 despite the absence of G. Prata and the presence of "One-Skate" Jake Locicero.
Heading into the playoffs, the Bandits had shown promise in the last two games winning one and tying another against the first place team. Despite the apparent disadvantage going into the playoffs, the Bandits are still confident they can take it all and carry home brand-spanking new 50% polyester 50% Cotton Championship T-shirts once again this year. Asked about their chances, D. Papadatos was adamant that the Bandits were a team "Built for the Playoffs". A phrase that was used to describe the Bandits time and again when they were winning back to back to back championships in the Greater Toronto Women's Hockey League in the early 1990's.
It's time to let those beards grow and to shave your legs as the first round of the playoffs start next week. Bandits take on Bone's Brigade next Tuesday Feb. 24 9:20 on Rinx 1. To be eligible for playoff action, players must have participated in at least seven games.
For the playoff schedule web page, see: http://www.truenorthhockey.com/2008-09/toronto/playoff1594.html
For further playoff information and rules, visit: http://www.truenorthhockey.com/Promotions/PlayoffEligibility/PlayoffMemo09w.pdf
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Summer Hockey - you in or not?
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Bandits Take Higher Road Despite Another Loss
The Bandits lost another game last night to the Bone's Brigade. Having intercepted communication between the Bandits concerning his subject, Todd W. aka 00 changed his number to 15 for the match to deflect attention from himself.
His usual abrasive self, 15(00) scored two points against the Bandits. Not to be outdone, number 15 for the Bandits D. Papadatos also scored 2 points. E. Horvath started his second game in a row in place of J Locicero. A poorly officiated game, only 4 minor penalties were called 3 for the Bones and 1 for the Bandits, despite the usual stick work and general nastiness of the Brigade.
As the old Bandit saying goes, aptly repeated by G. Prata after the game "We could beat these guys if we decided to bend down a bit". Not sure what it means, but it is surely inspirational to the squad in their next game on February 3rd at 9 PM on Rinx 3 against Mojo Mardi.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Bandits Upbeat Following Tough Loss to the Pumpkins
Despite the excitement of Obamania on Tuesday, the Bandits lost a tough game to the mighty Smashing Pumpkins. A cleanly fought tilt between the bottom dwelling Bandits and the first place Pumpkin eaters, not one penalty was assessed during the entire game. Of course Richard B. only played the last two frames of the game, which certainly partially explains the anomaly. Barlow, whose examplary mellowness was infectious on his teammates, scored the lone two goals for the Bandits to the S.P.s six. Barlow could have easily made it a hat trick but the move failed him on a breakaway. Dennis Papadatos assisted on both goals to continue to pad his scoring lead on the Bandits roster. He currently sits in fifth place in league in scoring behind Smashing Pumpkins D. Jones (49) who leads all scorers with 27 points to Papadatos' 19 following last night's game.
Next game is a late one as the Bandits take on the nasty lads from Bone's Brigade on Jan. 27th at 11:10 on Rinx 2.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Goalie Pardoned
In a surprising event today in the United States capital, outgoing
president George Bush pardoned Toronto Bandits Goaltender/Net Crasher
Eugene Horvath. Horvath was immediately released from prison this
afternoon. The event was eclipsed by the fanfare of the Obama
inauguration party and the release was covered in the media exclusively
by Bandit Press.
Horvath will celebrate his release by playing in nets for the struggling
Bandits tonight at the Rinx as they take on the pugilistic and
league-leading Smashing Pumpkins.
It was reported earlier this week that Horvath was being held in
captivity by H. Construction boss G Prata, but Horvath was actually
being held in the United States penal system for smuggling Goalie
equipment across the border to Mexico.
ICE NOTES: Regular Bandit Goalie John Locicero played a large role in
securing the Horvath pardon. In his usual humble fashion, Locicero is
not attending the welcome back ceremonies at the Rinx tonight.
MF for Bandit Press
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Bandit Press Reporter Released from Captivitiy
Asked about the identity of his captures, Fortin explained that all would be revealed in his tell-all book set to be completed some time this year or next. "My pen will not be silenced" Fortin explained at a news conference in Toronto's west end. "Prata cannot stop me from expressing my thoughts. He has been afraid of my work in the past, he better be prepared for what is about to come" Fortin continued. As for the whereabouts of Horvath, Fortin said he had not heard anything from him during his time in captivity and that he could neither confirm or deny that Horvath was still alive.
Next Bandits game, is against the league leading Smashing Pumpkins on rinx 2, at 8:10 on Tuesday January 20th.
Look for an update on this game, right here at http://tobandits.blogspot.com
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Helbig Hangs up His Skates (at least for this season)
Bandit Press has just learned that Jason Helbig has decided to hang up
his skates, at least for the remainder of the season. With Helbig out of
the picture the Bandits now must focus their attention on signing
another high-profile free-agent. Front runners to replace Helbig's big
skates on the Bandits first line include the lesser-likes of Brendan
Shanahan and Mats Sundin.
Bandit Press
Monday, November 24, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Bones Stick it to Bandits
- Toronto (Bandit Press)The TO Bandits were in action Tuesday night against the burly Bone's Brigade. The Bandits were clearly a shaken team from the disturbing scene in their dressing room before the game. As the Bandits watched the depressingly great skating 10 year olds, little did they know someone was decorating their dressing room with litter, garbage, rejected sporting equipment, and many other unmentionable items. With so little feng shui appeal, the decorating only served to provoke girly screams of histeria and hanger. The clearly distracted Bandits, not able to compose themselves for the start of the game managed to lose to the Brigade 4-2. See thumbnail for the official scoresheet. Forgive the poor quality of the image ....While Bandit Press strives to provide our readers with as much information as possible on our beloved Bandits, this week will require input from other writers as this one is at home watching children the rest of the week and therefore can only provide a scanned scoresheet and a final score.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Bandit Profiles: Johnny "Bleuet" Locicero
Bandit Press is taking advantage of a an idle week in the Toronto Bandits' schedule to bring you our first in a series of Bandit player special profiles. The profiles are aimed at bringing the team closer to Bandit faithful.Our first profile is of netminder Johnny "Bleuet" Locicero who, very few would know, started life in la belle Province in the Lac Saint-Jean region before being drafted in the early 1990's 1st overall and first ever goalie by the Bandits. Nobody remembers that season of course, since only two of the original Bandits drafted remain on the team. The only other original Bandit is former team rep Andrew Posluns, who will be featured in our next special profile.
Locicero's heritage is of course Italian, as anyone can see from his name, but on his mother's side very few would know, Johnny was not only French-Canadian, but a Fortin no less. That's the side that knows how to play hockey obviously for it is a true hockey name if there ever was one. P'tit Jean's maman was of no relation to current Bandit GM Marcel Fortin.
Locicero plays an unconventional style of hockey since he plays both as upright and buttefly goalie, or flat on his ass some nights, depending on the type of scotch he's had before a game. No blends please! And of course, all Bandit followers know the disaster that looms if Johnny has not had a chance to consume a tipple at all before a game, or a basket of fries from the Rinx Cantina.
As successful as Locicero is on the ice, he is also obviously quite a story off the ice as he has the distinction of driving the nicest car out of any of the Bandits. We're not sure what he does for a living, but he seems to always be wearing eye protection and often fields phone calls from a woman named Belinda in the dressing room.
Keep reading tobandits.blogspot.com for our late, very late breaking stories about the Toronto Bandits Hockey Club.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Helbig, Sundin Remain Silent about Future
Toronto Hockey News (staff) -Not unlike Niedermayer and Selanne before them, long-time Toronto Bandits stars Jason Helbig and Mats Sundin are remaining silent about their future as professional hockey players. The general impression in the Queen City is that Helbig and Sundin are holding their team, supporters and all of Toronto up for ransom. The reality is that with the salary cap situation the way it is, it's unlikely the Bandits will be able to hold down two spots for both Sundin and Helbig. As for who between the two would get a spot if they did decide to join the team, it remains unclear as neither Sundin or Helbig have been in touch with Bandits GM Fortin. In fact, no cheque has arrived from Helbig, which has lead to widespread speculation that Helbig is either entertaining offers from other clubs or is truly contemplating retirement.
THN
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Bandits Light up the Green Lanterns

TORONTO - (Bandit Press)
Action in the True North Hockey League's Clancy Division resumed last night with a penalty filled tilt which saw the Bandits taking on the Green with Envy Lanterns. The unruly Bandits edged the Boys in Green by a score of 5 - 3 in a come from behind win which saw a total of nine minor penalties and two game ejections assessed to both teams. The Bandits were assessed the major load of penalties taking seven of the nine minors while the more disciplined G.L.s managed only two. Richard Mad Man Barlow was ejected from the game late in the 3rd when he levelled Geoff Soloway for having shoved Junior B. in the kidneys while on a breakaway. Soloway was also sent to an early shower for his role in the altercation.
CLICK ON ABOVE THUMBNAIL TO SEE OFFICIAL SCORESHEET
Barlow opened the scoring for the surging Bandits in the first period, which ended 1-1 following the equalizer by the Lanterns at the 9:25 mark. The Green Lanterns scored two quick goals in the second period to earn a 3-1 lead that would last until the seven minute mark of the second frame when Barlow scored his second goal of the night to make it 3-2 . The Bandits pulled away from the Greeners in the third when Dennis Papadatos scored two goals keeping him atop of the Bandit scoring list and third in the league with eight points. Tetley Tea Bag Man Rick Prebble scored an empty netter to put the game away at the end of the period.
ICE NOTES: As suspected, Marcel Fortin was kept off the score sheet by an unattentive official who failed to see his wonderful pass to Papadatos in the slot who slammed the pass into the net for the game winner in the third period.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Bandits Run Over by Roadrunners

TORONTO (Bandit Press) - The Toronto Bandits were in semi-action again last night losing to the lowly Roadrunners 3 - 1. The uneventful tilt of the bottom end of the Clancy Division saw the Runners take a quick 2 - 0 lead in the first period. The Roadrunners pulled away in the third scoring early at 3:34 making the score 3 - 0. The Bandits managed to make it somewhat interesting later in the third when Dennis Papadatos assisted by Tony Manocchio and Rick "Texas Hold 'em" Prebble scored the lone Bandits goal of the evening.
CLICK ON THE IMAGE THUMBNAIL TO VIEW OFFICIAL SCORESHEET
The loss by the Bandits leaves them with a record of 1-3-2, good enough for last place in the Clancy Division either tied with Bones Brigade if the Boners lost last night. If the Brigadettes lost, the Bandits are in sole possession of the bottom of the division.
The Bandits' next game is October 28th, on Rinx 2 as they take on the Green Lanterns who currently sit in third place in the division.
ICE NOTES: League officials readjusted the Clancy division this week sending down the punching bag Fury to the Day Division and brought up the 4-1-0 (before last night's game) Mojo Mardi. The Tuesday Mojos currently, along with the Bandits hold down 4 of the top 5 spots in the Knucklehead standings. Unfortunately Bandits fans will have to wait until December
before they see their team take on the Mojos.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Bandits Unleash Fury on Fury
Toronto - (Bandit Press)The Toronto Bandits improved to 1-2-2 last night with a 4 - 0 win against a Fearful Fury squad. Richie Notsorich Barlow topped all goal scorers with his second consecutive hat trick of the season, and a natural one no less. Not to be outdone, Bandits backup goaltender Eugene Attila Horvath not only posted a shutout for his efforts on the night but also countered Barlow's prowess with two-thirds of a hat-trick of assists.
CLICK ON THUMBNAIL ABOVE TO VIEW OFFICIAL SCORESHEET
Also assisting on goals were OuiOui Dennis (say it in french, it rhymes) Papadatos, Tatoo Tony Manocchio with two, Andrew BlocCoalition Posluns with one, and Scott McKinnon with an unofficial one that evaded the referee's attention when he cleared the puck to Posluns at the blue line who then unleashed a beautiful pass to set Barlow free on a breakaway for his last goal of the night. The last tally on the night was credited to Papadatos, despite his arguments with referees against being the last man to touch the puck.
Goalie Horvath basked in the attention of adoring fans after the game and when asked about the shutout he credited defenceman Marcel BochnerCandidate Fortin for his success on the evening. "Since Fortin didn't even seem to see or know where his skates were all night, I figured I'd better find my A-game".
ICE NOTES: The Bandits managed the win despite a very short bench of only four substitute lungs (that's two skaters for those of you who can't divide).
NEXT BANDITS GAME: Bandits take on the Roadrunners on Rinx 3 at 9:00 on October 21st.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Bandits Strong in Loss to Bones - Bottle Drive Still Underway
The Bandits were in action again last night and put on quite a show for their fans despite ending up on the losing end of a 9-6 score against the Bones Brigade. The first half of the game was marked by a volley of goals between the Bandits and the Bitchy Bones and finished with a tied score of 1-1 by the end of the first frame. The Bandits opened the scoring on a goal by Richie Barlow assisted by Greg Prata. The Bandits then took a short-lived two goal lead on a goal by Dennis Papadatos assisted by Rick Prebble and Marcel Fortin. The BBs scored two quick ones to tie the score.
CLICK ON IMAGE FOR OFFICIAL SCORESHEETThe volley continued into the second period but the Bones slowly started pulling away all the while remaining chirpy, bitchy, and ugly. Fortin opened the scoring for the Bandits in the 2nd frame, assisted but not documented by the refs by Papadatos. Bandits closed out the scoring in the second on a goal by Barlow assisted by Evan Dion. Bandits were outscored in the middle stanza by four goals, three by the Iron Lunged number 00 for the Bones.
The Bandits managed a resurgence in the 3rd with 2 more goals but just didn't have enough in them as they could not contain 00 who tallied another 2 of the 3 Bones goals. Goals by the Bandits by Prata, assisted by Andrew Posluns and Barlow who also scored his third of the night on a pretty goal on an even prettier assist by Dennis Papadatos who sent the puck to a streaking Barlow half the length of the ice. Barlow, who had just come onto the ice from a two minute penalty, was given a clear path to the goalie who got one sniff of Barlow's equipment and ceded most of the net to make the Bandit forward look good.
ICE NOTES: Greg Prata took an early shower in the third period when he was assessed a third minor penalty for the night and an early exit to the lovely scented and decorated Bandits locker room.
The Bandits take on Fury next week on Rinx 1 at 11:15. Fans are encouraged to buy tickets early to support their team.
BOTTLE DRIVE UPDATE
The new salary cap imposed by the TNHL is still wreaking havoc with the Bandits ledgers. There are still players who have not paid up yet and there are a few who are nearly there but still need to provide management with that extra $25.00 agreed upon at the beginning of the season. Reached for comment, Bandits GM Money Bags Fortin said he had no fear at all of reaching the cap soon and that he doesn't want this to be a distraction to his team as it claws its way to the playoffs. He noted that what was most important was that the flow of cash not hamper the team from sipping a few following the reasonably scheduled games and of course prevent his family from eating.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Bandits Lose First Game
TORONTO - (Hillcrest Wire News Service)We played what I thought to be a competitive game despite the final outcome. Our shoots on goal surely out weighted theirs in the first two periods but................. Two players or the other team, numbers 49 and 77 seamed to kick into high gear using us as pylons in the third period.
CLICK ON IMAGE FOR WEEK 3 OFFICIAL SCORE SHEET
I’m happy that we conversed prior to game time and established that we were going to have a short bench. Richards buddy turned out to be pretty good despite leaving his defensive position a little too often. Our final line-up was two forward lines and three “D” making it a fun game to play. One less guy and we would have been too pooped leading into the second period. I hope we continue to keep the team up to date on the attendance and possibly have a few of our friends wanting to play now and again.
Greg Prata for HWNS










